2011 Bates Motel Review

Sorry for the delay... the weather was nice and I got lazy. Enjoy!

The Bates Motel… 2 Outta 3 Ain’t Bad.

We decided at 7:30PM on Saturday, 10/01/2011 to hit The Bates Motel at Arasapha Farms. It was cool and cloudy with a possibility of rain in the forecast but we said “What the hell?” and jumped in the car anyway. We arrived around 8:30 PM and right off the bat noticed that there was no one at the entrance directing traffic due to the light crowds. The parking lot was about ¼ full and there was no line to speak of for tickets and minimal lines for the attractions. Not sure if this was due to the Phillies playoff game or the possibility of rain but we weren’t sorry.

The Courtyard
There was no fire pit or picnic tables in the courtyard area like in years past. I believe this is due to weather (thanks Mother Nature) but I’m not positive. I missed them truth be told. Hopefully this is a temporary thing. We also were happy to see projector at the hayride line once again. I really like the “hang” aspect of this Haunt. It suits the mood of the place and I am sure it encourages concessions sales.

The Bates Motel
We decided to do TBM 1st. As we were standing in line it started to sprinkle but since the line was only out to the 2nd set of stanchion we didn’t mind. I think the wait ended up being 15 minutes. TBM is almost always my favorite attraction at Bates and this year was no exception. Enough things were changed and enough stayed the same to satisfy. Both the old and the new props were good and used well and the actors as always were excellent. Overall TBM was very well done this year. Make sure you look up when you exit the attraction… the roof has some interesting residents.

The Haunted Corn Maze
I think this attraction is now called The Westward Trail. When we exited TBM we headed straight for this line since it was very short. There are now talking heads (literally) as you approach the entrance reading you the rules and yapping. It was a nice touch. Just as we entered the trail the sky finally decided to open up and pour on us. I think the suffocation feature right past the entrance was turned off because of the rain but we didn’t mind because we used the space to wait out the downpour. After about 5 minutes we realized that although it had let up a bit the rain was not going to stop so we hiked up our pants, zipped up our jackets, pulled our hoodie strings tight and ventured out into the mud. This attraction is mostly the same as in years past which is not a bad thing. We enjoyed ourselves despite the rain as did the other people around us. I especially like the structures and the casts within them. They are very well done and unique. I did find myself wishing for less of the animal animatronics though. Yes, rubber wolf I am talking to you. You really suck. Most of the vignettes featuring animal animatronics look bad and are not scary. When you have a naturally spooky environment like a corn field you don’t need a bunch of badly lit, uninspired hunks of rubber popping out at you. BTW, I do not mean the prop scarecrows in the corn. They are subtle and great. They blend in enough to make you jump when you realize they aren’t corn and make you scream when you realize they sometimes aren’t props. Boo Ha Ha!

The Hayride
By the time we were done the Trail I fully expected the hayride to be closed due to the torrential rain and resulting mud but it wasn’t. The projector was turned off (of course) so we didn’t get to see anything while waiting in line but since the line was basically nonexistent it really wasn’t a big loss. We were on the wagon in about 10 minutes but got stuck in the middle which really sucked. Honestly for what people pay to do a haunted hayride these days haunts should give them a seat around the outside of the wagon This is especially true on a night when there were only a few crazy wet people sloshing though the miserable, cold mud hole that was The Bates Motel. I think I would have enjoyed the hayride more had I not been required to sit in the muddiest hay with a stranger’s mucky shoe in my ass. Or maybe not. Once again I cannot say that I liked the hayride. The soundtrack that I always bash is still in place and is still distracting. They did add some new and surprisingly better music but will never be better than silence. The few new vignettes that were added/ changed had a distinct white trashy feel which I am honestly not sure if I liked or not. I think management was going for a Rob Zombie vibe but it ended up feeling more Wild & Wonderful Whites of WV instead. The animatronics on the hayride are really the worst part of this attraction. What do we have to do to persuade PA Haunts to ditch the hokey ass rubber monsters? No one is afraid of them and some people in our wagon this weekend actually booed a few of these ridiculous creatures. The tree monster, the hydraulic thing that is ass impaled and the mine creature need to be put on Craigslist ASAP. They truly hurt The Bates Hayride.


I keep thinking… 2 outta 3 ain’t bad when looking back over our 2011 Bates visit. We will definitely come back next year but will seriously considering skipping the hayride when we do. It’s a shame because snuggling up in a wagon on a crisp autumn night and taking a ride through a haunted woods is one of my favorite things about the Halloween season. Unfortunately the Bates Motel just doesn’t deliver here. Oh well... 2 outta 3 ain’t bad. See… there it is again.